There has to be a distinct turning point. First you have to stop gaining before you can get to weight loss. Most of us can't do that any more than they can do a back flip - go from gaining to losing weight in one motion - let alone make it without crashing.
I'll bet that whenever you think about food and you are hungry you have a neat way of pushing restraint out of your mind. It is right there in front of you, you have to choose but you make the wrong choice every time - almost every time anyway.
There must be some change take place where we visualize and a realization that we are pushing the very thing we really want to the back seat - or over a cliff. How doe we change from rationalization to realization, that switch over in your mind: "Listen, I gotta do this. I really REALLY got to get myself together - not a diet - myself. I am killing myself meal by meal, pound by pound. I am causing myself all sorts of unnecessary pain and illness. I don't like how I look. I want to wear nice clothes and look attractive. I hate being dowdy." Are you sure you don't really prefer the quick high from eating instead of the long term high from looking good? You have to make some serious choices before you can successfully lose weight.
So you will never be a beauty or handsome? Why not eat and enjoy life? Well, is that an excuse for making yourself look and FEEL worse? If beauty in the eye of the beholder then you might surprise yourself if you were in better shape you would feel so pleased with yourself. Someimportant people in your life might think you are pretty damn hot. I surprised myself - believe me. I like ME better now than I did when I was a teenager because I know how short life is and that I can't depend on youth to get by any more.
There are all sorts of psychological hurdles to sort out. And you need to find a time and place where you can think without any disturbance. And it can't be some place where you will doze off on yourself. Recognize that you lose weight depends on you, your life style and finding a way to have control over outside influences in your life that work against you. you may have to take the law in your hands. If you are an adult you have to deal with the other adults. Kids have to deal with parents. (No child should go it alone because this can be the beginning of an eating disorder. They need the help of a normal size person - not an overweight parent or sibling) Do you have supportive or unsupportive family and friends? Do they do things to subtly or overtly sabotage your efforts? If they are overweight they may create difficult emotional situations if you lose weight and they don't. It may involve your taking the reigns if you are a submissive person. Don't expect other people to diet with you. It might be great if they did, but realistically dieting is personal and you have to be in charge and not dependent on anyone else for your own success - or blame them for your failure.
I know there are fat people out there who (say they) like the way they are. You know militantly saying "Fat is beautiful". Some fat people really can pull it off and don't let blubber get in the way of success or interfere with their self-esteem or love life. More power to them. But at some point in their life it will stop working. You can bet on it. They may have let it go too long and compromised their health. Bad health is NOT beautiful. It is sick, it is tired, it is pain and suffering - sooner or later.
What is right for you? If you are anti "normal" weight then you are not reading this. I write primarily for people like I was, who are fat and unhappy (no make that MISERABLE) and feeling unhealthy. We exist in a cocoon of fat. If anyone feels that they prefer to stick to their size - they should ask themselves how would they feel if they became larger? What about just being sure they can maintain their weight and not gain more? Even the satisfied with my weight folks may some day regret all the years of excess weight and what it has done to their hearts and feet. So it is like thinking over your life and health insureance policy. Take time and do a little soul searching. It's a life plan that is important to you and your kids. It's OK to figure in the perks of looking good too.
What about the financial part of being overweight? How much does being overweight or unhealthy because of it cost? Can you afford to pay extra insurance or is your insurance going to be cancelled when you get sick too often. My health policy charged more for being overweight because they know it will cost them more to take care of me in the future. Obesity IS a chronic and life shortening disease and YOU are the only one who can treat it successfully. YOU are in charge.
What about those prefab diet "meals"? How long do you think you can afford to stay on them? They make it sound cheap but add up a month of meals after the "free" 2 weeks and then the months to come at about 4-8 pounds a month. How will you get off them once you reach your goal? Heck, many of us could easily prepare them ourselves and package them in portions if that is going to save time. What about all the useless books and mags, half read on a shelf? What about the pills. Do they really work in the long term (after the placebo effect wears off)? What are the long term affects to your health? What about the cost of clothes and wear and tear on the furniture? What about all the anti-gas, anti diarrhea, antacid, purple pills and other over-the-counter (OTC) meds to treat the side effects of a bloated tummy. The cans of "diet" drinks; the diet bars the diet cereals. They add up! And that is just for you! Add that to the cost of food for other members of the family. What are the long term economic advantages to weight lose?
Hey, maybe it seems morbid to think about your demise. We all block it out and hope we will die quickly and painlessly in a moment. What are the chances of that happening? Visit the lobby of your local hospital and watch the people who walk or roll through. How many of them would not be in the wheelchair or walker - or at least put it off a decade or more - if they maintained a reasonable weight when they were younger? Just a reasonable weight - within the normal range for their body type.
An incentive might be to visualize the general population problem we know exists. Get some perspective. Look around when you are in a crowded place like an airport. Do some people watching. Count how many people look too thin, how many are about normal weight; a little overweight; a lot overweight; grossly obese. We are each going to have a different opinion about who falls into which category but that relates to the weight that is pleasing to you. The numbers of overweight may shock you. I counted about 50-70% were seriously overweight and another 25% could stand a little trimming. Also note how different people store weight in different parts of their bodies. That has a lot to do with heredity and ethnicity and you can't do much about it short of cosmetic surgery.
Watch how fat people walk. Listen to how they breathe and bitch when standing in line for a long time. Take the pulse of our society and decide where you stand in comparison and what group YOU want to belong in.
Is "saftig" (pleasingly plump) what you like? How much is too much? How skinny is healthy or even feasible with your body type? What about getting enough nourishment to maintain the health of your skin and organs? What suits your age group? Check out the plump rear ends plopping along in stretch pants, the feet mashing the sides of the loafers; the shorts that hike up in the crotch between fat thighs? (Wonder why they would go out in public like that? Lazy? Can't find anything else to wear? So long gone they don't care? Avoiding personal relationships with others?) Watch people tugging their waist bands and jeans. The belly hanging over the belt. Ever wonder how they see to pee? Do their private parts fall into the potty water? Can they fit between the arms of a theater seat or plane seat? Comfortably, without overhanging their neighbor or the lap tray.
Most people will say that you can't get back to your twenties size when you are older. Nonsense. I weight exactly what I weighed in college. It may be more or less differently distributed but pretty damn close.
Most people who are overweight let themselves go. The people who crawl the mall usually are not reflections of the manikins in the windows! Even if you aren't into stylish clothes, that Target skirt could look nice on you.
What is the first time you can't find anything you like in your size? Do clothes fit you well?. When they fit your waist they are too big in the beam or visa versa? What about double chins hanging over the collar or the love handles showing through the T-shirt? Rolls that hide your belt or are bigger than your breasts?
Do you power up to keep your thighs from sticking or getting a rash from the friction in summer? What about the fungus infection under the droopy breasts (male and female) under the bellies and chins, between the cheeks.
Take a really good look in the mirror. Do the clothes you wore just a year ago still fit? Do you complain about the heat when it is mildly warm weather? Is summer heat insufferable and you have to move from A/C building to A/C car to A/C home? God help us if the power goes out! Do you sweat so much you have to bathe a lot? How do your feet feel after walking around Disney World?
What are your innards telling you? Do you have unreasonable amounts of gas?? Don't laugh! Too much food, especially fatty food will give you gas. It's not just the beans or the broccoli. In fact, beans in a small portion will cause very little gas if you don't eat them with a lot of fatty food.
Just plain overeating can be the cause of much of those discomforts we euphemistically refer to as "indigestion." - gas and heartburn. It must be a natural disaster if you note the amount of advertising on TV! Overweight is considered a risk factor for gall bladder disease (an acute attack is very painful and requires emergency surgery!). Then there is diverticulitis (little pockets in your gut that get infected and give you chronic belly aches or sometimes emergency surgery!). I know! I have had them all!
Then there is the lack of sleep, the snoring, the sleep apnea, the restless leg syndrome. All can be weight related. So add up the cost of meds and doctor's visits. Lying down throws all the weight up against the heart and lungs. Hello gastric reflux, hiatal hernia. known as GERD.
But we fatties have been defeated trying to turn the tide before and we feel helpless and hopeless. There are so many reasons and ways to fall off the wagon and lots of people and situations that sabotage our efforts. Every day, every meal.
Just remember that the primary saboteur is yourself and we let our appetite take control of our habits and the lifestyle we choose. Appetite is controlled by hormones our bodies produce in response to eating or not eating. It is not really as difficult to get those hormones under control as you probably think. You don't have to do all the stuff on the list some diet guru throws at you OR ELSE. But you need to learb how to get hold of it and make it a positive process - even enjoyable! You really calls for a nice, friendly talk with yourself to get your ducks firmly in a row. It does not matter how many problems you have or what circumstances are in, you can begin at any moment. You may even attack your problems by saying - so there - I am going to use losing weight as a means to live with the other stuff I can't control. Depending on who you are and what your style, you can call it a pep talk or whatever you want. You just can't keep putting what you want to do at the back of your mind. Your life and how you want to proceed have to be brought out of the bak part of your brain and put in the conscious part, the "living room" if you will, of your mind and kept there. Don't let it slide back behind that mental curtain. Out of sight, out of mind. If you are fatter than you like, you know what I mean.
I started with a long talk with myself. Maybe you can do it once in a crisis situation but it may be something some people need to do frequently. Give it a try, see what happens and decide. It's your call but you need to flip that switch mentally.
You need to find a place where you can be quiet, preferably sit down and think about your life, what you want in your life and how you are going to get to your goals. This is not some New Age Zen thing - unless you want it to be. If you are a guy, maybe you are more comfortable if you go fishing or knock some golf balls around by yourself. Others may prefer to go in their bedrooms, the back porch anywhere you won't be disturbed. Anyone can go take a walk in a park and sit on a bench. You are going to need to take time and focus.
Ask yourself why you defeat yourself by pushing things to the back of your mind when you know what you want to do. Especially when you are feeling down or hungry. Why do you decide to just have a "small" bag of chips. The ice cream is being served and why not have a little bit. How are you going to prevent that from happening. Visualize what you will do.
No doubt your appetite is to blame in part - not your self control. You have to understand that what you eat affects your appetite. We'll get to that soon. But maybe you have heard it all and can figure it out yourself. It's not a huge secrete - it's biology. There are NO secret tricks to losing weight. If you fall for the latest guru or gimmick you might as well believe in witchcraft. Biology and psychology just have to work together and mind over matter has to come first.
Don't forget, what we eat is important, but just because you love to eat particular things or at least make bad choices, nothing tastes as good as watching the weight fll off. So don't kill yourself over all the details at once. Let's just ease into it. Turn the tide.
Remind yourself that we are infinitely capable of having good intentions and blocking them out of our minds. Why? I don't know. OK, I know, LOL! We are weak and easily tempted. Instant gratification. It makes us feel better - for the moment.
But that is just it - for the MOMENT! What about when you get on the scales and there is a slight up-tick on the dial? We feel awful again. So what do we do? Eat.... and eat, see another up-tick..... and eat some more. And you thought only politicians were corrupt!
OK so think about stopping the cycle by setting priorities. What REALLY matters to you - the mashed potatoes, an extra spoonful of gravy or that delicious sweet taste of chocolate. Think about how transient those pleasures are and how they will make you feel later. Even big tough guys work hard to avoid thinking about their physical habits especially in a critical way. But one things guys WILL think about is all the ways sex is affected by too much weight. Wanna score until you are 80? Not if you are overweight.
Do you keep eating when you aren't hungry anymore? Are you still hungry or do you just want to keep on eating? If you eat fast it is like driving fast - it takes longer to stop. If you really are hungry you SHOULD eat. But if it is hard to stop eating fast, get up from the table, brush your teeth to get the taste out of your mouth, take the dog for a walk, do the dishes, put on the headset and dance in your bedroom to your favorite music. Get you mind off food.
So bottom line, get real! Do you really WANT to lose weight? Sure you THINK you do. But DO you? If you did you would. Right? You keep shutting out the voice of reason and let that little devil in the back of your head say - ah! one little bite won't hurt. And then you have another and another. Ask yourself why the mental block. Why you have lost control of yourself.
If you were diagnosed as a diabetic and the doc told you that you HAVE to start watching everything that you eat or lose your eyesight or have your feet amputated or become impotent - most of us WOULD do it. Well, weight loss dieting is not all that different from a diabetic diet. Everything in balance. But dieters have an advantage - they don't have to shoot up with insulin. But you may be on your way or already a diabetic and not know it if you are more than a little overweight. The statistics are not in your favor. Like they say, check with your doctor!
So get in charge mentally and keep it to yourself. No one else will get it - trust me on this. No room for wishy-washy excuses. Are you in charge of feeding the family? Then you start from a position of power. But if you are not in charge of what someone buys at the store and stocks in the pantry then you have some family social problems you have to overcome. What are they? How are you going to deal with them?
What about a significant other who is skinny and eats whatever they like or one that "loves you the way you are". There are the saboteurs - Those who bring home boxes of doughnuts that he/she knows you can't resist. You may do it to yourself! Can't pass the French bread and pastry shop. There is the mothery type who thinks you should eat because she cooks for you all day - and your eating is a sign of appreciation. There are the 'clean your plate, don't be wasteful types'. The parents who brought you up to have guilt about how you eat and what. Don't argue with them. It NEVER works. Just get up and help with the dishes and smile! If you have a control freak who keeps you fat to keep you from being attractive to others then you need more help that I can give you.
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