The basic concept of this blog is that the mind has the biggest role in weight loss. This is not advanced psychology! Listen to the reasons you hear from people who are having problems. They diet and can't stick with it. List your own reasons. They are probably because of issues that have something to do with appeasing your appetite but most of them aren't. Some are personality issues and some are social issues, some may be very personal. You may not want to deal with some of them (but you can figure out what they are) and others are relatively easy to handle. Problem being they have probably become habits and habits are hard to break. Well, habits CAN BE hard to break if you make it hard. Substitute new habits, new ways of thinking. It's your personal mind control program. Don't make it a chore. Have fun. Be creative. Is the diet plate half full or half empty.
My first objective was to get my biggest "reason" (excuse!) down to a manageable size - appetite. So that is what I have been focusing on here up until now. That's because you can climb little hills a whole lot easier than mountains. And it is easier to keep from falling off little hills than mountains too. If dealing with your appetite seems insurmountable then you are likely to think you need ropes and crampons to get it under control. Actually real appetite may be easier to get under control than PERCEIVED desire to eat something.
You know, you have eaten dinner and you have collapsed on the couch in your best potato pose. You are not hungry but you keep picturing the bag of pretzels or potato chips in the cabinet. Your start getting little video clips that keep looping in your head about getting up and getting a handful, maybe one, maybe the whole bag. Can you relate this to an addiction?
Well, what about an addiction that you can't keep out of the house. You can't pour it down the drain. You have to go to the store and sort out the good stuff from the bad stuff. Or worse, you don't have much control over what gets into the house unless you are the one who stocks the pantry.
If you are an adult who controls what is in the house, you still have to deal with what other adults in the family want - not necessarily what you should be eating. It would be a whole lot easier if everyone were on the same diet - but that may not be realistic.
A young person with a weight problem must first enlist a parent to help. That can be a big hurdle unless you have very good relationship with your parents or caregivers.
In most cases people have to diet in spite of everyone around them. Most of us have to diet in spite of others around us. We cannot expect or force them into being supportive. That was certainly something I faced. I had adult children living with me who helped with the marketing as well as the cooking. They were not seriously into managing their weight. My husband never has had a weight problem.
In addition I was dealing with my own health problems as well as that of a a member of the family. Not going to discuss person issues on line but, trust me, there are big issues that I have to deal with. I don't have a lot of control over my life.
But what I DO HAVE control over is myself and my body. That turns out to be the best reason of all for losing weight and getting my health back. No one is getting any younger and you do NOT want to look back at the last decade and say to yourself - "what the hell, I COULD have spent it feeling and looking a hell of a lot better". What a waste of a part of your life! Are you going to regret the next decade later too? You can't go back and get those years back.
Step#1. I proposed taking an hour or so having a talk with yourself and setting your priorities. If you decide you want to lose weight and you are going to, you can start immediately. If you don't - don't bother. Maybe some day. It's your choice. But I am writing this on the assumption that anyone who reads it is at least half way convinced that they must diet.
Step #2 Seriously restricting your sugar intake and manage unreasonable pangs of hunger.
Step #3. That is what this post is about. Become conscious of your mind playing tricks. Bring them into the front of you mind. Don't let them fester in your subconscious. You can't deal with nagging temptation by just trying to suppress it. Get it out there where you can deal with it.
Make yourself a mental picture album. Deliberately and purposefully substitute visions. Make your own. I push away the thoughts of a snack with a vision of being thinner or wearing a smaller size pair of jeans. I think of my double chin in a terrible photo or the belly. You can picture anything other than food. Somewhere you would like to go. Pick up a magazine - even if you are watching TV - and distract yourself. Or if not completely thrilled with the program, get up and do something else.
Then there are motivational thoughts: "do I really want to see the scale ease down a notch tomorrow?" or "do I want to spoil all the hours of careful eating I have done all day with a quickie snack?". Can I make it to bed knowing that this has been a losing day?
If you ARE truly hungry and it has been at least 2 1/2 to 3 hours since your last meal - get a low sugar/low salt snack. Something not too tantalizing. A small bowl of cereal works for me (Chinese rice bowls are just under a cup - a good snack size). A salad as long as there is no more than 1 tablespoon of dressing or some cottage cheese with string beans or celery; some lightly cooked veggies (could be prepared ahead for the next meal). It should be somewhat filling but not heavy. You ARE eating so the munchies urge can be satisfied without indulging in foods that will increase your need to eat. If you are counting calories, 100 is a good round number to aim for with a snack. Portions can be controlled with a measuring cup or a premeasured dish.
When you fill that bowl with whatever, think about exactly how much is enough and how much you would prefer not to add to the days calorie count. Weigh weight loss and eating deliberately. Don't eat casually. Think about it. Eat slowly and deliberately thinking about it. Then stop when you feel the urge to munch stop - immediately.
Become very conscious about what you tell yourself when you don't succeed. Don't let yourself push g00d thoughts about dieting to the back of your mind at the critical moment.
I am certain that there are people out there who need professional help with the problems that lead to obesity. But most of us can figure ourselves out - IF we try. Just as you can figure out why a neighbor or friend has some issue or dysfunction does not take a shrink. We practice psychology every day. You don't really need Ann Landers to figure problems out. It's mostly common sense. There is usually more than one solution. But it is always harder to be objective with ourselves.
Different personalities call for different solutions. If you are a Marine or a shrinking violet you may have the same issues of overweight but different ways to deal with it.
The Marine may think he can just tackle it by brute force. It may work - and it may not. The marine may avoid the little talk with himself or herself. Too tough for that "stuff". Pretend you are reading the Marine manual then. But do it!
The shrinking violet may keep saying "this is too hard, I can't do it". But you can take charge in your own quiet way. Just become a passive-aggressive when it comes to eating. You can stay out of stressful situations by just quietly doing it without a lot of fanfare.
Me, I'm a would-be control freak. As I said, I have very little control over my life but I do have control over my diet. I do have control over my appetite. I do have control over my health. I do have control over my mouth. I do have control over what is available for me to eat. I can control the amount of what I eat. I don't have to eat like anyone else. A mouthful of something tastes no better than a large plate of it. I can stop eating when I have had enough even if I am not "full". I am me. I like being skinny. I will not be fat. Munching at this moment is less important than looking hot tomorrow and the next day.
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